The Extended Family Model

“The structure of the extended family with its many different roles creates a framework for inter-generational cooperation and a wide variety of relationships through which we can cultivate the best elements of our humanity. Within an overall atmosphere of love and mutual respect, family members can observe and then practice such qualities as self-sacrifice, sincerity, hard work and the pursuit of excellence, and responsibility. They also learn a sense of decorum and respect for boundaries that becomes an ingrained sense of what is right and what is wrong in human relations. These lessons, taken to heart by each new generation raised within the extended family, allow us to relate together with other human beings in a cooperative, peaceful, and cohesive manner, whether in the smallest social unit of the family, or the largest, the global community.”

–          Chapter 4, The Korean Dream: A Vision for a Unified Korea

The extended family brings new perspective to marriage. Marriage is not just between a man and a woman. It is the joining of two extended families. America lost that perspective. They focus on trees but not on the forest. If you divorce after having children, there is undeniable consequence to the children and relatives. So the price of breaking that union has tremendous repercussions. Negative behavior doesn’t just end between the couple. Positive behavior has lasting effects too. So I say the Blessing is not just a ceremony. It has real, real, real consequences. It is in everybody’s interest that we live a righteous life, seek the truth, live for the sake of others, and follow our conscience. These virtues are tried and true because it has resonance with God’s providential history. Creation resonates with righteousness. Heaven and creation wants to bless those kinds of people. Creation will treat you like you really are.

I teach gender roles because of God’s dual nature, male and female. The fullness of humanity is expressed through masculinity and femininity. Men represent God’s authority, power, principles, and structure. Women represent God’s grace, unconditional love, embrace, and comfort. Who is the substantial manifestation of God’s subjective nature? It is the man. That’s why God gave man seed as the root of identity. In most cultures, the wife goes into the husband’s family. This was true in the Jewish culture too but later it was changed.

Children reflect beauty through filial piety. You should encourage service within the family. Within the family model, there are clear expectations. There are clear expectations upon the father or mother or brother or sister. For blessed families, the family is the school of love.

When my wife and I are traveling, I naturally hold higher expectations on my older kids to take care of the family during the parents’ absence. I was 14 when Heungjin hyung passed away. So since the age of 14, I had the sense of responsibility to take care of my family. It has nothing to do with position or physical age. It has everything to do with how you fulfill your 5% responsibility.

Many members thought True Parents are important but the True Family is just Father’s children so they’re not so important. Most members do not understand the significance of the advent of True Parents and True Family. The Providence of Restoration has to happen by humans. Is True Family important? Is lineage important? If you understand lineage, you will understand why the three kingships are important. That’s why in the genesis story there is God, Adam and Eve, and their children.

What do you think the Blessing ideal represents? Father brought a new revelation of spiritual life not only on the individual level but on the family level right?  The Blessing ideal takes individual faith to a new level [of family] does it not? [A prominent LDS leader] was moved when he heard Father talk about the importance of lineage. He was like, “Wow, I never looked at it that way”.

The importance of lineage has tremendous appeal to the LDS because of their strong focus on family. If UC people understood that thecourse of providential history was to bring God back to the center of family, would people of other faiths be able to accept that? The circumstances of the world today make it that much easier to accept this profound truth. 80% of Americans believe in God but in terms of organized religion, there is a drop. More and more people don’t recognize organized religion.

As a couple, if you instill values into your children, your children will be that much ahead of other children in terms of living a righteous life. At the end of the day, they have their own 5% responsibility right? Kids from a stable home will naturally be better off. So there are real consequences. That’s why you need to know what you believe in. What are the principles and values you strive to embody in your life? The bear cubs fish the exact same way from generation to generation because they learn from their mother. The female has more of an influence on the next generation. Women are the center of the home. If women do not fulfill their responsibility right, it has a huge consequence on the human family. That’s why blessing is not conceptual. It’s real.

The text above are not direct quotes, but rather the personal inspirations of an individual that has participated in the Sunday Hoon dok Hwes organized by the Family Peace Association.

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