5. Close the doors of self-pity and arrogance; Receive with humility and gratitude
H1, who stood in the middle of the providence did not only receive accusation and persecution from unrighteous leaders but also received criticism from the members and was abandoned by the great majority of them. Even among the second gens whom he loved and invested everything into, there were only a few who stood up for the truth and defended H1 at the risk of their lives.
I graduated from STF and was working under H1’s side. I really loved and respected him. However, even a person like myself for a certain period went against him by feeling that the truth was that “the True Parents are the center of the providence” and thus H1 was going in the wrong direction.
He was persecuted and attacked by his own older sister, younger brothers and even by his own True Parents. In a way, he was beaten by everybody. Isn’t this the kind of path which True Father spoke about in his messages, such as this one below?
“Since we cannot create the sphere of denial by ourselves, God Himself creates it. Therefore, a religious person will be opposed by everybody. This is the deeper meaning of persecution. When one believes in God and in religion, often those who are closest to him, such as his parents or loved ones, will oppose him. In such a case, Satan, as the second subject, is attacking the first subject God. When someone strikes a righteous person unjustly, it sets a condition that must be repaid. Because of this repayment, the development of religion is secured. Do you understand why persecution occurs?” (God’s Will and the World, p594)
With what kind of heart has H1 gone through the last seven years? In September 2014, he said “Because self-pity and arrogance are the doors through which Satan comes in, we must close those doors and have an attitude of gratitude and humility.” I believe this was exactly how he must have been thinking in order to get through during those difficult periods.
Even when he was going through the realm of heart which was like the bottom of hell covered by total darkness, he must have been receiving all of those trials with “gratitude and humility”. Many members may have an image about H1 of his being arrogant (which is totally different from who he really is) due to the influence of the negative image of him widely spread by unrighteous leaders. However, many members who have worked with him have often shed tears just by thinking about him. They sense his heart is full of scars. I also felt so many tears filled inside of him while on the outside, he appeared to be tough, strict and eloquent.
When do we feel self-pity? It is not necessarily when you feel miserable about yourself. Suppose you invest into someone for truly that person’s sake, and yet you are misunderstood, criticized and even blamed. Isn’t that also a kind of situation when you may be strongly overwhelmed by a sense of self-pity? I am investing this much but why…? This kind of feeling.
Satan will come and invade you through that door of self-pity, strongly depriving you of your power to keep investing. However, you must never stop investing. You continue to invest into someone who doesn’t understand the real truth. Instead of criticizing him back by being arrogant like him, you instead go down to the lower place and receive everything with humility and gratitude, and keep investing again. Is that not the way that H1 might have been living his life?
I watched H1 fighting back his tears hard while encouraging us to receive with humility and gratitude. I felt the depth of his investment through that.
No matter how much he was persecuted, rejected and attacked, his love for True Parents never changed. And he kept his faith in the Blessed Families and never gave up on them. H1 had the truth, love and his desperate determination to accomplish the providence. He will absolutely never change- in the future as well.
He is not interested at all in becoming the “successor” of True Parents’ assets or position. He doesn’t care whether the crown was given or not. His only desire is to fulfill God’s dreams which True Parents wanted so much to fulfill. This determination of his is also the strong motivation for those who are with him.
6. He is strict but his heart is warm
Some people say that H1 is very strict. It is true that he always sets high goals and he never compromises with the goals he sets. He also expects a high standard from the Blessed Families. He speaks clearly about the second gen problems, “It is parents’ (1st gen’s) responsibility. Parents should carry that responsibility.”
It is true that each person is responsible for completing his own family, which no other person(s) can do in his stead. H1 keeps emphasizing that at the end of the day parents need to carry on the responsibility for their own children, no matter how this may sound harsh. Parents are, after all, the role models for their children and the way the parents live has the most direct and the strongest impact on their children’s lives.
If you do not invest yourself into your children and instead take it lightly , thinking, “If I live for God’s Will, then God will take care of my children.”, then you will face serious consequences. Your children will grow in the environment in which self-centered culture is rampant, where they will face difficulty in setting up a God-centered value system as well as difficulty in nurturing their sense of ownership over God’s providence, and eventually they will seek for living for their own sake and find themselves outside of God’s providence. What H1 points out about parents’ responsibility is really true.
However, I still tend to think about the reality which cannot be explained by words of truth alone.
“How are those 1st gens who dedicated themselves for the providence by sacrificing their own families to be judged guilty?”
“What can the families do when they offered everything for the sake of the nation and the world at the sacrifice of their families, having ended up suffering from serious family problems?”
Even though H1 seems to have harshly scolded the parents by saying, “Education of the children is the parents’ responsibility.”, I could also feel his warm heart of desperately wanting to support the Blessed Families behind his words.
“You guys should help the Blessed Families so that all of them can build happy families.”
“Educate the second gens in the right way so that they can become the owners of God’s providence.”
I believe it is not acceptable for him to see Japanese brothers and sisters, who have been through suffering courses by sacrificing their families ‘welfare, only to find that their families have broken down and they are now living their lives in misery. He always stresses that God’s blessing is not a concept but is real. He believes if the families who received the blessing truly practice true love centered on God, then heavenly fortune will surely be with them and they will find themselves not only internally happy but also externally blessed abundantly. He encourages each family to raise their sense of responsibility so that they can truly experience God’s blessings in their lives. Meanwhile he is making effort from behind to support each family to be victorious. I truly feel from my heart that I want to respond to his noble desire and expectation.
(to be continued…)